Are You Ready To Date?

Some single girls are probably single because they are shy or not ready to date. (And yes, they are not where "the guys" are to meet them.) Sometimes it takes getting to know someone first as a "friend" before getting comfortable for a intimate relationship.

Some girls are ahead in this area and find it comfortable to date, as they are ready for intimacy.

If you aren't it's okay. As Mr. Right will wait for you. Mr. Wrong will often "push" you or "pull" away from you. Remember it's you who sets the ground rules. Go slow. Guys often love a challenge and love to pursue. In this process, you can become more familiar with the guy. Talking on phone first helps to see how "the flow" is going. Find common interests and learn about the other person's interests. Perhaps even loosening you up, as well. Take your time, what's the rush? Rushing is the one thing that makes most things dissolve. Overcalling, being too excited, over pleasing, becoming a yes man & forgetting yourself are all no, no's in dating.

Rule of thumb: If you are getting tingles, if you find yourself checking phone for calls, heart racing, enthusiasm, fantasizing about perfect date, then you are probably on right track with guy. But guy must also be experiencing some of these things, too. You don't want it to be one sided which often leads to huge disappointment.

If you still find yourself fearful of dating then try classes, church, out door sports groups, take up hobby, start dinner parties with friends (with rule everyone invites someone new each week) & therapy.  In general must become more active and social. People meet people through other people & friends. Also, when it's the "right" person everything clicks and dating is almost effortless. You know when it's right. You just do. That's probably why in weddings they say, "I do.".

Look For You First Then Mr. Right

Some of  my girlfriends cannot be without a guy. They have to be someone. It doesn't matter the "who" but as long as there is a "who".  I live vicariously through my friends, who put themselves out there looking for Mr. Right. I've seen them go on line, to bars & clubs looking to meet a guy. Sure, you can meet plenty of  "guys" when you do this. But, what are you pulling in? Why do we do this? Should we look for real self---- first? Where art thou?

I took a deep long look at myself. Yes, in the mirror. What was it that I disliked about myself? What was it that allowed me and my friends to keep attracting less than we deserve? Some of it is society pressure from parents & status.  Some girls feel pressue to have someone. Some avoid confrontation and feel they are unable to speak for themselves. (i.e. maybe I just haven't found the right guy, yet. It would help if you quit with all your talk about how I am going to be a old maide)  This sends out a "sick" signal and  attracts "not the best" in turn. In my whissy washy days I sent out sick signals. I have track marks to prove it.  Remember, people will poke a marshmellow or put it over a fire!

What can you do to find  real self? I started writing and it is very healing. The process of being open and honest with yourself to yourself is powerful. As I wrote, I learned I needed to be clear. As I became clear, then I set up my boundaries. As I  became firm then I could stand up for myself. I always heard the words "love yourself" but I did not know how. I was too busy pleasing everyone else. I allowed everyone else to speak for me and create doubt. This marshemellow effect was directly parallel to the type of guys I pulled in, i. e. Frankinstein.

I always noticed girls with the type of guy I would like to date acted differently than me. They seemed to be able to communicate their needs and wants. They had a  inner bubblle bursting out " I love myself." I was  jealous.  They had no problem asking for things they liked  from their mate. These girls know who they are. It didn't matter if the girl was tall, short, fat, thin, model or purple.  It dawned on me, these girls emit a  healthy signal; that says "I love myself". They are pulling in "guys" who "answer" & respond to their signal. How do I do this? How do I start to love myself?

It's kind of simple. Some of us get lost in the growing up process. Maybe you were the middle child and felt left out. You felt the baby got the most love and the oldest gets their way. You gave up and gave in "to them". You "settled" & "accepted" someone's words & ideas as "your own."  Now you're grown up and forget to change;as you changed! You're on your own and created your life. 

Don't forget to change or reprogram your thoughts. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve the best for you. You deserve a guy who can bring out the best in you. You deserve Mr. Right. Treat yourself to new positive thoughts daily. First by shear force of repetition by stating out loud & writing out ten times; "I am worthy & deserved to be loved." Eventually, it will be easier. Treat yourself to sweet indulgences like flowers, perfume, pretty dress, walk or movie. Each little step will reinforce the new you is the real you. The new best you. The Right YOU! Your new signal (as soon as brain accepts new as replacement of old false idea of you) will be broadcast.  Soon the new better type of "guys" will start being attracted to you & be pulled in. You will be surprised. "Right You"=Mr. Right. Challenge yourself over the next 30 days to this simple formula. 

Good luck, Tullip Trollop.  "Wuff.Wuff," wuffs Tizz. 

To Ring or Not To Ring...

Dear Teacup:

Is it okay for a single person to wear a wedding ring?

Chiffon

a singleton

Dear Chiffon:

Rings are a girl's best friend, especially when they are big and sparkle. Wedding rings are great if you are married or want to scare a potential Mr. Good Guy off. 

We asked several eligible guys about this subject. The results were if a guy was interested in a girl to "ask her out" on proper date he would be detoured to her roommate. (a.k.a. the girl not wearing wedding ring) But, a player is a player and might find it fun to have a shag with the other fellas divine fruit.

Ring, Ring. Ring.

Substitute a shinning ring with bright inner self esteem. Come on you can do it.

Let your light shine and become a beacon of light. When you shine with confidence, as you are right now, "single" you will eventually pull in something wonderful. No light = no one can see you, even with a sparkly on your finger.  Try reading: "The Ripple Effect which explains how you can be a better attraction magnet or "Exactly As I Am."

xoxo

Trollop Girls.

Tips:

1. Try new make up Visibly Even, Neutrogena  (equal Mall brands & always on sale at a drug store: online riteaide.com  $5 off w/ $25 purchase code RiteAid525)

2. Straighten hair: Hair frames face so try new styles & have fun. 

3. Highlights: Lighten things up & feel happier.

4. Suntan: Use Revlon Age Defying Medium makeup & instant tan on face.  (99 cent store has tanning lotions 4 body with brand names. Sit in sun to get natural mood elevator)

5. Exercise: walk, swim or turn on music & start moving. It lifts you up & shakes off a low mood. 

6. Adopt a pet: Cheers you up, helps you to stay social & meet new people. (Pets sleep all day so low maintenance furry love.)

7. Buy cute new flattering dress: Outlet malls & Ross have cute things. (Just dig and you will find a treasure that will give you a much needed boost) 

8. Clean out old: Give away or sell (ebay, yard sell, CrossRoads trading) old things and invite new things in. It works!!!

9. Be active: Go out. Go to coffee shop & sit. Go to happy hours, take a new class, get a hobby,go park, play sport or join a group. Move. Move. Move. Stay at home = Home Alone, usually. At least get on facebook or twitter. Social networking is good for you. 1 of 7 Secrets to long life.