Look For You First Then Mr. Right

Some of  my girlfriends cannot be without a guy. They have to be someone. It doesn't matter the "who" but as long as there is a "who".  I live vicariously through my friends, who put themselves out there looking for Mr. Right. I've seen them go on line, to bars & clubs looking to meet a guy. Sure, you can meet plenty of  "guys" when you do this. But, what are you pulling in? Why do we do this? Should we look for real self---- first? Where art thou?

I took a deep long look at myself. Yes, in the mirror. What was it that I disliked about myself? What was it that allowed me and my friends to keep attracting less than we deserve? Some of it is society pressure from parents & status.  Some girls feel pressue to have someone. Some avoid confrontation and feel they are unable to speak for themselves. (i.e. maybe I just haven't found the right guy, yet. It would help if you quit with all your talk about how I am going to be a old maide)  This sends out a "sick" signal and  attracts "not the best" in turn. In my whissy washy days I sent out sick signals. I have track marks to prove it.  Remember, people will poke a marshmellow or put it over a fire!

What can you do to find  real self? I started writing and it is very healing. The process of being open and honest with yourself to yourself is powerful. As I wrote, I learned I needed to be clear. As I became clear, then I set up my boundaries. As I  became firm then I could stand up for myself. I always heard the words "love yourself" but I did not know how. I was too busy pleasing everyone else. I allowed everyone else to speak for me and create doubt. This marshemellow effect was directly parallel to the type of guys I pulled in, i. e. Frankinstein.

I always noticed girls with the type of guy I would like to date acted differently than me. They seemed to be able to communicate their needs and wants. They had a  inner bubblle bursting out " I love myself." I was  jealous.  They had no problem asking for things they liked  from their mate. These girls know who they are. It didn't matter if the girl was tall, short, fat, thin, model or purple.  It dawned on me, these girls emit a  healthy signal; that says "I love myself". They are pulling in "guys" who "answer" & respond to their signal. How do I do this? How do I start to love myself?

It's kind of simple. Some of us get lost in the growing up process. Maybe you were the middle child and felt left out. You felt the baby got the most love and the oldest gets their way. You gave up and gave in "to them". You "settled" & "accepted" someone's words & ideas as "your own."  Now you're grown up and forget to change;as you changed! You're on your own and created your life. 

Don't forget to change or reprogram your thoughts. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve the best for you. You deserve a guy who can bring out the best in you. You deserve Mr. Right. Treat yourself to new positive thoughts daily. First by shear force of repetition by stating out loud & writing out ten times; "I am worthy & deserved to be loved." Eventually, it will be easier. Treat yourself to sweet indulgences like flowers, perfume, pretty dress, walk or movie. Each little step will reinforce the new you is the real you. The new best you. The Right YOU! Your new signal (as soon as brain accepts new as replacement of old false idea of you) will be broadcast.  Soon the new better type of "guys" will start being attracted to you & be pulled in. You will be surprised. "Right You"=Mr. Right. Challenge yourself over the next 30 days to this simple formula. 

Good luck, Tullip Trollop.  "Wuff.Wuff," wuffs Tizz.